Reasons to quit smoking

Well, some people need a kick in the ass, so here’s a nice simple list of reasons why you should quit smoking.

It’s gonna f**cking kill you!

Yes that’s, smoking will kill you. And not just a normal death like in your sleep or something – lung cancer, other types of cancers, respirtorary diseases, cardiovascular diseases, crossing a busy road to buy a pack of cigarettes, and so on. While you do get years of pleasure from smoking, it’s not the kind of “doing kinky stuff with your girlfriend” type of pleasure – it’s more of a sickly pseudo pleasure – a few smokes a day are pretty damn sweet, but the rest are just bland and not really all that nice.

I’m sure I speak for everyone reading this when I say, I’d much rather die in a screwed up sex swing accident involving a 23 year old, blonde, Swedish nympho than spent my last few months in a hospital bed, struggling to draw a breath. You know I’m right.

It ain’t cheap

In the UK a pack of cigarettes currently costs around £5.30. So if you smoke 20 a day, that’s £38.50 a week. Let’s add on another pack to that total (you know you smoke a few more at the weekend when you’re out drinking – and those hot chicks that flirt with you to grab a smoke start adding up) so £44. That’s £176 per month. And £2,288 a year. Over 10 years, £22,880. 40 years – £91,520.

I wonder if I had £91,520 I could hire some really hot chicks to have sex with me until I died from exhaustion? That is money well spent!

Here’s an idea. Call it a labour saving device (you know how walking n stuff can be tough) – go to the bank and take out £176. Then go to your local shop and buy your month’s supply of cigarettes there and then. Take a long hard look at the money before you hand it over. And the look on the guys face when you ask for 640 smokes.

Of course, if the money if the only big deal, then move to Spain – you can get a pack of smokes for €2! That’s only about £1.33! Sweet!

Smoking can make junior less…active

Yes, that’s right – smoking can make you impotent. Hell, nuff said. I started this site after seeing a TV advert from NHS Scotland for www.stayinghard.info – it’s a wicked ad and the site is a nice follow up. It is aimed at blokes and gives a few facts about impotency and smoking.

What really pisses me off though, is that the other campaign (aimed at women) is “fags make girls ugly” – www.uglysmoking.info. Well that’s not fair – we get floppy and all chicks get is yellow teeth? Hey, you can get some smokers toothpaste for that!

Hmm, here’s a thought – maybe smoking doesn’t cause impotency. Maybe it just makes chicks less attractive and as a consequence…I think you know where I’m going with this!

It makes you smell

Nobody likes a smelly person. But on the flip side, you smell like sweet, sweet smoke. Mmmm. Can’t say I really notice the smokey smell in my apartment. Don’t really care if others can or not. Poncy non smoking cry babies.

Smoking hurts people around you

Well, I’m not being funny but there are loads of reasons that the “effects of passive smoking” could be otherwise explained. Sure, people say that long term exposure can increase chances of lung cancer, etc but is there quantifiable proof?

Determining long term damage is near impossible to do outwith a completely enclosed environment. Surely, emissions from cars could contribute to passive smoking “effects”?

Hey, I don’t know shit about it. Have a read of this factsheet – it seems not bad: http://www.ash.org.uk/html/factsheets/html/fact08.html

Yellow teeth

I’ve grown kind of used to them. If I cared that much I’d buy some smokers toothpaste. Fear my yellow teeth! Grrr!

It’s not sexy (anymore)

It used to be sexy. Apparently it’s not anymore.

I dunno. Are chicks who smoke sexier? Maybe – I do like a smoke in bed after some luvin’ and certainly having to go out into the hallway is a bit of a turnoff.

Now that the UK has banned smoking in pubs, nipping outside and chatting with some ladies while having a quick smoke is the norm and to be perfectly honest it’s a nice break from the hustle of a pub or club.

But is it sexier? Jury’s out on that one, but it certainly makes opening a conversation easier!

Running out of smokes late at night is a pain

Not so bad if you live close to a 24 shop or something, but there’s nothing worse than running out of smokes late at night. A situation I’d rather live without.

It’s costing the health service a fortune

Fair enough. But, conversely I’m sure that investment into medical research due to smoking related illness has helped push forward other areas of research too.